Dating fear of abandonment

By Jodi Helmer Hope dated several men after she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II in 2004, but none of the relationships lasted long enough to make her mental health an issue.

When Hope, 45, developed feelings for a local restaurateur in 2009, she knew she would have to talk to him about her diagnosis before things got serious.

“It brings up a lot of fears and those fears ignite the temptation not to talk about it,” acknowledges Lisa Little, MSc, a chartered psychologist in Calgary, Alberta.“I was excited about this blossoming relationship and enamored with this man,” recalls Hope, a freelance communications consultant in Denver, Colorado.“But I remember thinking, ‘He’s going to freak out when I tell him I have bipolar disorder.’” The “when and how” decision was taken out of her hands when her new love dropped a bombshell: His soon-to-be ex had bipolar and her illness was one reason they were divorcing.I would say you should do exactly what he asked for: Give him space – live your life as if he vanished from thin air.Don’t think about him and if you do, don’t react to your thoughts about him. Girls tend to freak out when a guy goes into his “cave” or “shell”. It usually plays out like this: 1) Guy, for whatever reason, gets emotionally imbalanced about something.